~perfect nightmare~

Sometimes we fight..

Sometimes I cry..

Why don’t I j

ust tell him goodbye?

Sometimes I should,

but sometimes I don’t..

Build up the strength to s

ay that it’s wrong..

Sometimes I hate..

Sometimes I love..

Sometimes I hurt..

Sometimes I don’t..

Sometimes I wait f

or him to change..

But it’s okay,

I’ve disguised the pain..

And I don’t ever wanna leave him alone

They say i’m brainwashed, but i’m in love w

ith this man..

Keep telling myself that it’s not worth it

I already know I don’t deserve it

But if it’s from you I don’t mind hurting

This is my perfect nightmare

So when will I wake up and scream '

No way'?

Sometimes I keep my cool..

Sometimes I let him know..

Sometimes I even pack my bags to walk out the door..

Sometimes I feel safe..

Sometimes I really don’t..

Sometimes I promise that i’m ready to let him go..

Hoping he’s changing, b

ut i’m scared he’s not..

Can’t see a way to leave..

Help me open my eyes..

:'(

~goodbye lullaby~

Of all the things I've believed in, I just want to get it over with tears from behind my eyes

But I do not cry

Counting the days that pass me by

I've been searching deep down in my soul

Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old

It feels like I'm starting all over again

The last three months were just pretend

And I said

Goodbye to you

Goodbye to everything I thought I knew

You were the one I loved

The one thing that I tried to hold on to

I still get lost in your eyes

And it seems that I can't live a day without you

Closing my eyes and you chase my facts away

To a place where I am blinded by the light

But it's not right

And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time

I want what's yours and I want what's mine

I want you but I'm not giving in this time

And when the stars fall

I will lie awake

You're my shooting star..

~silent readers menyusahkan?~

Assalamualaikum..

Pagi2 aq da nak membebel..bukan ape..sebelum mata mengantuk sebab makan ubat, baik aq menulis dulu..pasal apa yang berlaku pada aq yang mengaitkan orang2 sekeliling aq..hurm..tajuk ni cm merendah2kan readers aq je bunyinye kn.. (walaupun ada gak bunyi cm perasan sendiri yg blog ni ade silent readers..hihi..) bukan niat aq nak wat cm2..cume kdg2 ade silent readers ni menyusahkan aq..

Sume org suke kalau kite ade silent readers..yela..kdg2 pendapat dr strangers 2 bagus sbnrnye..cume yg xley blah nye, silent readers yg membaca bukan untuk komen yang membina, tapi nak menyibuk..adoi..jangan busybody boleh tak?kalau aq kata aq memang tak suka kau, kau marah..walaupun aq ley kata yang kau ni bertuah sebab aq tak pernah kutuk kau kat blog aq ni..plus, aq xsediakan blog ni untuk kau baca pun..macam aq yg xpernah nk sibuk hal hidup kau yang kononnya eksklusif sangat tu, macam tu jugakla aq xnak kau sibuk kat hidup aq..kalau aq rasa aq xnk bekerja dgn kau, apa kejadahnya aq duduk kat c2 da nk masuk 2 bulan ni?kalau aq memang btol2 g tempat lain macam yg kau khbar2kan 2, xde mknenye aq nk tgu kt tempat kau yang tak seberapa 2..2la kau ni..baik2 aq ikhlas nak bekerja, skang aq da mula tawar hati dengan perangai kau..

Lagi satu pasal sakit..aq taula mmg ramai yg sengaja amek mc because of malas..tapi come on la babe..takde kejela aq nak membazir duit g menipu doktor 2 semata-mata untuk dapatkan mc..adoiyai..aq bukan org kaya cm kau..baik aq simpan duit 2..ade plak org yg plan nk skit..aq bukan cm bangsa kau yg sememangnya suka cakap berbelit2..n mungkin jugak suka mengarah orang je taunya..huhu..amek2la iktibar k..kalau kau nak pekerja kau hormat kau, kau pun kenela hormat n jaga kebajikan pekerja kau..renung2kan.. :)

~versi baru~

Assalamualaikum..

Dengan suara yang takde ni, aku nak jugak berceloteh kat cni..naseb baik kat cni tak payah pakai suara..ok..so, ape yang versi baru?haa..tu yang menarik nak kongsi tu..2 3 hari ni mood aku memang tak baik..yela..encik lelaki buat hal kan..tapi yang paling bestnye, dia tak rasa itu salah dia pun..aku punya perangai pulak, sekali orang buat baik dengan aku, sepuluh kali aku ley buat baik dengan die..tapi sekali orang buat jahat dengan aku, sepuluh kali aku boleh lebih jahat dari 2..

Jadi, kesimpulan daripada conversation semalam adalah, i'll live my life as i'm single..come on..memang aku single pun..cume tak available je..lom kawen pun kan..bukan ape..kalau aku tumpukan cinta aku pada encik lelaki je, nanti aku sakit hati..sebab aku bukan keutamaan dia..jadi, aku pun akan letak dia sebagai options gak la..yang ke berapa tu rahsia la kan..yang pasti bukan yang pertama lagi dah..macam yang kawan baik aku cakap, aku ni macam cermin..betul lah tu..memang aku jenis yang pulangkan balik apa yang orang buat kat aku..tapi bukan sekelip mata okeyh..aku takdela sekejam tu..tapi selepas kesabaran aku sampai ke kemuncak, aku akan buat apa yang aku mampu buat..

Macam yang aku cakap before ni la..bukan aku mintak harta berjuta or rumah or ferrari sebijik..aku cuma mintak masa dan perhatian je..tapi kalau tu pun tak mampu nak bagi, hurm..memang pelikla kan..tapi takpelah,..untuk pujuk aku sekarang pun dah terlambat..i've already spoken..pada encik lelaki, sorryla..tapi aku kena jadi defensive untuk lindungi hati aku yang fragile ni..daripada bagi kat kau n kau tak jaga n dia akan pecah since it's fragile, baik aku jaga sendiri..treat people like how u want to be treated..dah ni yang kau mintak, ni lah yang aku bagi..since then, take care ya..daa.. :)

~all cried out~

All alone on a Sunday morning

Outside I see the rain is falling

Inside I'm slowly dying, but the rain will hide my crying..

Don't you know my tears will burn the pillow?

Set this place on fire cause I'm tired of your lies

All I needed was a simple "Hello"

But the traffic was so noisy that you could not hear me cry..

I gave you my love in vain

My body never knew such pleasure, my heart never knew such pain

You leave me so confused

Now I'm all cried out over you..

Never wanted to see things my way

Had to go astray, why were you such a fool?

Now I see that the grass is greener

It is too late for you to find your way home

How could you be so wrong?

Leaving me all alone..

Don't you know my tears will cause an inferno?

Romance up in flames, why should I take the blame?

You were the one who left me neglected

Apology not accepted, add me to the broken hearts you've collected..

I gave you all of me

How was I to know you would weaken so easily?

I don't know what to do

Now I'm all cried out over you..